


Pinch Me

by Rikudera



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Family, M/M, Memories, Multi, Reincarnation, Repressed Memories, Siblings, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-30 21:32:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/336391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikudera/pseuds/Rikudera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Roxas dragged Axel to help him spend a week house-sitting his childhood home, he thought it would be filled with old movies, take-out cuisine, and summer sun. He thought he'd be happy, but ghosts tend to linger in this old house, and it is harder to escape the past than one might think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pinch Me

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song "Pinch Me" by the Barenaked Ladies.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta, wayya.

Roxas pulled up to the house in his old, beat-up black Volvo, the car bumping as he drove over a pothole. He'd been wanting to fix the suspension for a while now, and would hopefully have enough money for it once this week was over. He saw a familiar red sedan in the driveway and smiled to himself. It was going to be fun, he told himself, spending the week here. He got out of the car, grabbing the bag of take-out Indian from the backseat and walking up towards the front door, pausing to take a good look at the house.

The house, much like his car, was an old, worn thing with faded teal paint and a sagging front porch. It was one of those old Victorians, common enough in this part of town, and although it had two stories plus an attic and a basement, most of the house was filled with random clutter, things both his and his mother's parents had collected over the years. A rusted water faucet stood against the side of the house, and he could see the paisley curtains through the living room window, a design that hadn't changed for decades. But even though it was old, crowded, and never really had decent heating in the winter, it was where he grew up, and it held a certain nostalgic charm for him.

Holding the take-out bag in one hand and holding the screen door open with his foot, he dug in his pocket with his other for his keys. He d just found the one he needed, the silver one with the blue rubber covering, when the second door opened from the inside. He looked up and found himself face-to-face with the owner of the red sedan, a tall, thin man with hair just as crimson wearing a bright orange hoodie.

"Yo," Axel said, grinning lazily, hand on his hip. "I turned the A/C on while you were gone. What's in the bag?"

"That sweatshirt clashes horribly with your hair," Roxas replied, handing Axel the bag and hanging his coat up on one of the hooks in the entrance, "and it's Bagheera's Indian Palace." They walked together into the kitchen, and Roxas dug a couple of forks out of one of the drawers. "Why would you turn the A/C on?"

"Ooh, Bagheera's! You really do spoil me. Demyx stole my blue one - _again_ \- and I've gotta keep the school spirit up somehow," Axel countered, taking the various containers of food out of the bag and arranging them artistically in the center of the kitchen table. "Oh, and the Weather Channel said that it was gonna warm up this week, starting this afternoon. Why did you drive to get food, anyway? I saw your stuff already here from this morning, and the Palace is close enough."

"It's colder than it looks outside," Roxas responded, sitting down and handing Axel a fork. “Not everyone's a human furnace like you, with your freak body temperature."

"You'd think that living here your whole life would make you immune to the weather here or something," Axel said as they began to eat, gesturing occasionally with his fork. "If you hate the cold so much, why would you go to school in a city that snows so much?" The redhead shoveled some curry into his mouth, missing the way Roxas faltered.

"Just wanted to stay close to home, I guess," Roxas muttered uncomfortably. "Leon was already at Reed when I graduated high school, and we decided that it would be best if one of us stayed close to our parents." He put his own fork down, staring at his plate.

"So you stayed because..." Axel began slowly. Roxas whipped his head up, staring with wide eyes and meeting the even green ones across the small table.

"It's fine, really," Roxas said quickly, blinking and looking off to the side. "I mean, the snow doesn't really bother me that much; I just like to complain about it." He stood up and took his container over to the refrigerator. "I'm gonna go finish unpacking upstairs."

"You haven t finished your curry," Axel pointed out, frowning.

'I'm not hungry," Roxas said, shoving the container in the fridge. He started walking out of the room then stopped, turning in the doorway. "Thanks for agreeing to house-sit with me; I'll give you half of what my parents are paying me. The house feels so..." he paused, "...empty, if you're by yourself, sometimes." Roxas turned and, before Axel could say anything, walked quickly out into the hall. He could feel Axel's eyes on him until he turned the corner.

x X x X x

Roxas came to the top of the stairs, slowing as he looked around once again at the upstairs landing. The doors circled around the little hall in a horseshoe shape, some doors open and some closed. Various doors led to the stairs up to the attic, Leon's old room, and his parents room. The door to Leon's room, where Axel was supposed to be staying, was open, but Roxas looked across the hall on his left, seeing that Axel had already moved his stuff into Roxas's old room. On the left wall was a bathroom, door open and the midday sun from the window casting dusty, yet warm light into the hall.

Roxas started walking towards his old room, resolving to finish unpacking and try to condense both his and Axel's luggage in the smaller room, but stopped as he reached the doorjamb. He shut his eyes, determined to not think about it, not to go there, but eventually gave up, casting his gaze to the last room in the leftmost corner.

Sora's room.

The door was shut now, but Roxas was pretty sure of what he would find if he looked inside. It shouldn't have changed, but, as if doubting his head, his feet moved of their own accord across the hall, and his hand came to rest on the doorknob. _It's just a room_ , he told himself, _there isn't going to be anything there that isn't supposed to be there_. But he couldn't bring himself to step away, and his hand slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open.

The room was fairly narrow and small, with two windows and a single bed pushed against one wall, a bookshelf, dresser, and desk on the other. There was a corkboard with pictures and scraps of paper over the desk and five dream-catchers of varying sizes hanging from the ceiling over the bed. A small nightstand stood beside the bed, a lamp and a clock one hour off resting on it. It seemed fairly normal, but something was off about the room, and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Roxas frowned, searching the room with his eyes, until he realized that the desk was clean and that there was nothing on the floor.

 _Right_ , he thought, lips pressed in a thin line, _he could never keep his room organized, even when he tried. Mom must have tidied things up in here_. His gaze drifted to the dresser, and he walked slowly over to it. A chunky silver chain with a crown charm rested on the surface, and he ran his fingers over it for a moment, wiping the dust off the charm. The air was a bit stale in the room, but it smelled like Sora still, so the windows remained closed. Roxas turned around and looked down at the bed. It was the same as it had always been, bright red comforter and solid oak frame, save for the object resting on it.

The Keyblade.

He remembered the exact day it appeared in the house, the day Sora had brought what was supposed to be his final project for art home to show their parents. Their father had thought he was just imitating Leon by making a sword and their mother had just been baffled, but Roxas had seen the look in Sora's eyes, the light that sent a frightened thrill up his spine and the desperate _wanting_ him to understand. He'd congratulated Sora on a job well done and had asked to hold it. Sora had happily let him and started talking about all the techniques he'd used to make it, but Roxas had just been glad to see that horrible look leave his brother's eyes.

 _"I told you, it's the Keyblade," Sora said, grinning.  
_  
 _"Because it looks like a key?" Roxas asked, raising an eyebrow.  
_  
 _"Yeah," Sora replied breathlessly, "and I'm the Keyblade Master."  
_  
Roxas picked it up, right hand on the hilt and key end pointed out. It really was well made, he had to admit, gleaming silver-and-gold-painted metal on the "blade" and the guard.

"Keyblade..." he murmured, swinging it around a few times experimentally. "And the Keyblade Master..." The mouse-ears charm dangled from the chain at the end of the hilt.

"How long has it been since you've been in here?"

Roxas whipped around at the foreign sound, Keyblade following, and found himself face-to-face with a very surprised Axel, Keyblade only inches from his face. Roxas lowered his arm slowly, taking a deep breath.

"Sorry, I," Roxas began, "I... you just startled me, is all." Axel remained rigid for a second, then seemed to force himself to relax as he uncurled his fists.

"It's okay," Axel breathed, then continued on, speaking softly. "... _Do_ you know?"

"I... three years," Roxas admitted, laying the Keyblade back down on the bed and staring at it. He heard Axel inhale and then walk over to the desk.

"Lots of pictures," Axel commented nonchalantly. Roxas looked up, saw the other looking at the corkboard, and smiled.

"Yeah," he replied, almost wistful. "This one's from when we went white-water rafting, this one's from our seventh birthday back when Mom was still making us wear matching clothes, and this one's from the Beach Bonfire the year Uncle Cid got stung by a jellyfish." He pointed at the various pictures as he described them, and found Axel's arm around his shoulders when he paused.

"That one looks pretty good," Axel said, pointing to a more recent picture with his free hand.

"Hmm," he agreed, leaning into Axel, "that's me and Sora when we were fifteen. I'd just kicked this guy Seifer's ass in a track meet, so we were celebrating with victory ice cream."

"You were pretty hot for a fifteen-year-old," Axel teased, leering slightly down at him. Roxas elbowed him, moving out of the half-hug they'd been in.

"Pervert," he accused, feigning indignation at first, but grinning back when he saw Axel's beaming face. "C'mon, he said," walking towards the door, "let's go get unpacked." Axel followed him out and closed the door behind them, humming.

x X x X x

Roxas woke up the next morning at five, thoroughly disoriented. He knew that he'd been dreaming, but all he could remember was darkness and a vague sense of emptiness. Sitting up and blinking slowly, he saw Axel looking at him carefully, bare-chested and pants halfway on.

"Axel, wha-?" he asked groggily.

"Shh, I'm just going to work," Axel whispered, tugging his pants on and walking towards the bed. "Go back to sleep; I'll be back this afternoon." He pushed Roxas back down gently, kissing his forehead.

"G'night, Axel..." Roxas mumbled, "Have fun with... Mar an' Lar at... Obli... blibi... place..." He closed his eyes and fell promptly back asleep.

When he woke up at nine later that morning, he didn't remember a thing. He walked across the hall to the bathroom to take a shower, and then got dressed, throwing on some gym shorts and an old t-shirt. Wandering into the kitchen, he looked into the pantry to try and  
find some cereal. Skipping past his parents' healthy bran cereal, he came across the box his mother had told him about.

Fruity Sugar Magic Shapes, the box read. It had been years since he'd touched anything so sugary, but his mother had bought it especially for him and "his friend Axel". He wanted to be honest with her, but didn't have the heart to tell her the truth yet about either Axel or the cereal, not when he'd heard the way she gushed to him over the phone last week. Sighing and resolving to be stronger in the future, he grabbed some milk out of the fridge and poured himself a bowl.  
 _  
"C'moooon Roxas!" a seven-year-old Sora pleaded, one sunny summer morning. "Lemme see, lemme **see** ee!"_  
 _  
"Nuh- **uh**!" an equally seven-year-old Roxas said, clutching his treasure tightly in his hands. "You got the prize the last time!"_  
 _  
"Well..." Sora paused, thinking hard. "Well, I'm older, so you **have** to listen to me!" He had a look of triumph on his face, big blue eyes staring determinedly._  
 _  
"Only by twelve minutes; that doesn't even **count**!" Roxas retorted, then added, "Plus, you're just being **stuuu** pid!" He stuck his tongue out at Sora, his twin huffing and sticking his own tongue out also in return._  
 _  
"You're **both** being stupid," a ten-year-old Leon said from across the kitchen table, in between eating his own cereal. "It's just a pair of cheap x-ray glasses."_  
 _  
"Moo **oOOo** om!" Sora yelled. Leon glared at Sora. Roxas was about to follow suit, but Sora nudged him with his foot and Roxas met his gaze. The twins smiled at the same time._  
 _  
"What's all this racket in here?" their mother asked, walking into the kitchen from the family room. She was wearing a pink and white sundress, and her long brown hair was tied back with a bow. One of her hands was holding a book, finger stuck in to keep her place, and the other was on her hip._  
 _  
"Leon was being mean to us!" Sora accused, even going so far as to point a finger with his spoon. "He was calling us **stu** pid, and being **mean** , and, and-" Their mother gave a level look at the said ten-year-old._  
 _  
"I was **not**!" Leon said, aghast. "He's com **ple** tely overreacting! I was only trying to be a voice of **rea** son, and Sora is just upset 'cause Roxas won't let him wear the x-ray glasses, even though they re **use** less and don't even **work**!" Their mother looked back over at the twins._  
 _  
"He was hurting our **feel** ings," Roxas insisted. Their mother sighed and held out the hand that was formerly on her hip._  
 _  
"Roxas," she said calmly, "give me the glasses. If you can't agree over them or learn to share, then no one is going to get them. Leon, **try** to be nicer to your younger brothers; I promise it'll work. Sora, you do not need to be so melodramatic about things; I assure you that the world is not going to end." Roxas reluctantly handed over the glasses, and she smiled serenely. "Now we can all finish our breakfast in peace, right?"_

Roxas shook his head and rinsed his bowl out in the sink.

x X x X x

 

It was two-thirty in the afternoon when Axel came back from work, looking as wilted as Roxas felt. Although not quite as beastly hot as it was outside, the inside of the house was not what Roxas would call a comfortable temperature. He was sitting in the living room, sipping on lemonade that he'd mixed from a packet and bemoaning the weather. His father had called earlier in the day, making numerous comments about the costs of air conditioning bills under the guise of seeing how things were going. Roxas told him to enjoy their vacation and hung up as politely as possible. Unfortunately, this meant no A/C for the week, and he cursed the power company in his head, wiping his brow with the t-shirt he'd long since taken off. He tossed the shirt to the other end of the couch and picked up his glass of lemonade.

"You cannot _believe_ how glad I was to get out of there," Axel drawled, sauntering into the living room. He sighed and sat down beside Roxas on the couch. "That new girl we have doing inventory is absolutely horrid."

"It's not that much better here, actually," Roxas said. "My dear father called to tell us we can't use the A/C. Lemonade?" He gestured to the coffee table, jug of lemonade and an empty glass sitting on a platter.

"Oh, I think I'd like something a little sweeter," Axel said, waggling his eyebrows as he wrapped an arm around Roxas's waist. "And just look, you're already halfway undressed. It's like you read my mind."

"Oh, no," Roxas protested, "I am _not_ going to let you molest me today. Do you even realize how hot it is upstairs?"

"So we'll do it down here," Axel smiled easily, tracing Roxas's ear with his finger. Roxas turned to face Axel, who took his movement as a sign of agreement.

"On the _couch?_ " he asked in disbelief. "The Sacred Couch of the Living Room which I have sworn a blood oath to not desecrate?" Axel looked at him disbelievingly, and he waved his hands in emphasis. "It's the Sacred Couch!"

"You let us do it on the couch in our apartment," Axel pouted, reluctantly unwinding his arm from Roxas's waist.

"If I do not abide by the Oath of the Couch," Roxas explained, "I have to assume that one of the two other Brothers of the Couch has also desecrated it in the past." Axel grimaced and moved closer to the edge of the couch. "Anyway," Roxas said, standing up decisively, "I have a better way for us to cool down, now that you're here."

"You do?" Axel looked up at him hopefully. "I'll agree to anything, if it means getting these mental images out of my head."

"One word," Roxas said, grin spreading slowly over his face. "Sprinklers."

x X x X x

"But it's wet," Axel said, wrinkling his nose, now also having taken his shirt off.

"That's kind of the _point_ , Axel," Roxas responded, turning the faucet on. He watched as the hose filled with water, traveling from the pipes at the side of the house, across the front lawn, and out through the sprinkler. Jets of water shot out the end of the sprinkler, making Axel jump back at least a foot. "You can either stand there and melt, or you can play in the sprinkler with me."

"You're completely serious, aren't you?" Axel asked forlornly. "I've still got my pants on from work; I'm still wearing _clothes_." Roxas looked at him blankly. " _Why_ are we still wearing _clothes?_ "

"Because I don't want you scarring the neighbors," Roxas said, rolling his eyes and dragging Axel by the arm. "Now come _on_ , I promise it'll be fun." And he dragged Axel under the spray with him.

They must have spent the better part of an hour getting completely soaked, dancing, singing and racing each other to see who could run through the fastest. It wasn't until some little kids from across the street tried to join in that they even noticed anyone else. Another fifteen minutes was spent playing tag, and then Roxas finally declared that if his father didn't complain about the electric bill, then he was definitely going to complain about the water bill.

"See ya!" The little girl called, running back towards her house. "Tiduuuus, c' _mo_ on."

"Selphiiiie!" The little boy called, chasing after her. "Wait for _meee!_ " Roxas walked over to the faucet, turning it off. He leaned against the side of the house, letting his eyes drift to the porch.  
 _  
"Why are we under the porch, again?" a fourteen-year-old Roxas asked his twin._  
 _  
"Because I have to tell you the story of the Keyblade," Sora said firmly._  
 _  
"And you can't do it somewhere else?" Roxas inquired, batting away a cobweb. "It's really gross under here."_  
 _  
"This is important and top secret," Sora repeated. "Now are you gonna let me tell the story or not?" Roxas nodded. "Okay, it starts out with this boy named Sora on a tropical-"_  
 _  
"Wait, wait, wait," Roxas interrupted, "now I **know** you're just making stuff up."_  
 _  
"But I'm **not** ," Sora insisted, frustrated. "All of this really happened!" Roxas looked at him, and saw that the look in his brother's eyes had returned._  
 _  
"Fine," he sighed, "go and tell your story." Sora smiled again._  
 _  
"So Sora lives on this tropical island, with two other kids named Riku and Kairi. But then these monsters from the darkness start to invade..."_

Roxas was torn from his thoughts by Axel's hand on his arm.

"Care to share your thoughts with the class, Mister?" Axel asked, moving closer.

"Just thinking," Roxas replied absently, then looked up at the redhead. "You look like a drowned hedgehog."

"Mmm, and I wonder whose fault that is?" said hedgehog laughed, bending down to kiss him.

"You're - ah - insatiable, you know?" Roxas commented when they parted, breath hitching as Axel dipped his head down to suck on his neck. He pulled Axel closer, hands on the other's ass, pushing their hips together. The redhead proceeded to thank him by sticking his tongue down his throat again.

"I knew I'd get you to agree eventually," Axel boasted some minutes later, pulling away a bit. Roxas looked reproachful when Axel moved away, but Axel's smile didn't waver. "Why don't we go inside and get you out of those wet clothes, hmm?"

x X x X x

Roxas woke up early again the next day, head fuzzy. Images of dark and rain fluttered behind his eyelashes for a moment, but then faded into the early morning light of his room. He couldn't think of why he was up again so early, but then remembered it was _his_ turn to go to work at an ungodly hour. He drove downtown to one of the local Starbucks, walking into the back room and donning a green apron.

Waving to his fellow wage slaves absently, he proceeded to spend the next four hours absentmindedly catering to the whims of caffeine-deprived strangers. It wasn't until his break that he actually was able to sit and take a deep breath or two, caffeine-filled-cup joining him in exultation.

"Hey, Roxas!" a girl called from a table in the corner. He turned and saw one of his coworkers, Olette, looking content and munching a blueberry scone. "Sit with me for a minute or two?"

"Sure thing," he responded, sitting down across from her and deeply inhaling the steam rising from the venti Americano he cradled, sighing happily. "Coffee is the drink of the gods, and no one will be able to convince me otherwise." She smiled and shook her head at him, twin brunette braids moving over her green apron.

"You'd think that cup of coffee had the answers to the universe, with the way you re staring at it," Olette joked. Roxas looked up from his drink to find her studying his face, a little skeptic. "But really, what's up with you?" she inquired, a little more serious. "I know you can get spacey sometimes, but this is more than usual."

"Have you ever gotten the feeling that you've had a really weird dream, but you can't remember for the life of you what it was?" Roxas asked, the words coming out of his mouth almost unbidden. Olette laughed, looking at him oddly.

"You're kinda weird, Roxas," she said, but with a smile to let him know she was teasing him. "I'd love to stay and chat, but my break is over now." Tucking a strand of brown hair behind her ear, she then stood up and gave him a little wave before leaving to disappear behind the counter once again. Roxas waved back absently before turning his attention back to his cup and smiling wryly. Was it really so strange of him to want to remember a dream?  
 _  
"Geez, Sora," a fifteen-year-old Roxas commented. "It's practically eleven, and you're just **now** getting up?" He was in the living room, trying to finish the crossword puzzle, and saw his brother walk from the foot of the stairs towards the kitchen._  
 _  
"I **like** sleeping in on the weekends; you know that," Sora said lazily. "How's the crossword coming along?"_  
 _  
"You went to bed early last night, though," the blond pointed out. "It's like you've been asleep for **years**." He chewed on the end of the pen he was holding. "What's a six-letter-word for 'amnesiac's loss'?"_  
 _  
"Ah, don't be so serious," Sora laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "It was only **one** year." Roxas rolled his eyes. "And I think the word you're looking for is 'memory'."_

Roxas drove home later that day with the radio blasting, clutching another coffee cup tightly in one hand.

x X x X x

When he got back to the house, Roxas found Axel in the kitchen, patches of blue food coloring on his hands. Axel seemed to be working intently on something sitting in a bucket on the messy table, and didn't give any indication he'd heard Roxas enter the house.

"Is that the old ice cream maker?" Roxas asked, amused. Axel jumped and looked at Roxas sheepishly.

"It was supposed to be a surprise," the redhead admitted, looking disappointed at what was indeed an ice cream maker, "but I can't figure out how to work this thing."

"That's because it s a hand-crank," Roxas said, trying to figure out which ingredients were which on the table.

"Who on earth would buy a hand-crank?" Axel wondered in disbelief. Roxas began straightening up all the various items on the table, putting the dairy products on one side and the ice and salt on the other.

"My mom was a hippie," Roxas explained, gesturing vaguely. "She always said that things tasted better if they were made by hand." He picked up the recipe book that had been open on the table and flipped to the beginning of what Axel had been reading. "Scrooge's own Sea-Salt Ice Cream," he smiled. "Let's start over again, together this time."  
 _  
Twelve-year-old Sora had dragged out the ice cream maker again, and the two of them were hard at work laying out all of the ingredients on the table. Their mother walked in briskly, wearing her old jean jacket covered in various buttons, filling up her water-bottle from the filter and popping a couple slices of homemade bread in the toaster._  
 _  
"I'll be at the demonstration for a while," she said, "so I'm going to be a little late for dinner."_  
 _  
"Why do you always have to go to those things so much?" Roxas asked, after a little while. Their mother looked at him sternly, and he had the grace to look a little embarrassed._  
 _  
" **Someone** has to fight for the planet," she responded unyielding, taking the now-done toast out of the toaster. "This is the least I can do. I do hope you boys are going to wait until after dinner to eat that ice cream. Speaking of dinner..." She touched her finger to her lips._

_"Luxord, honey?" she called._   
_  
"Yes, dear?" their father answered, from inside the study._   
_  
"Could you cook dinner tonight?" she asked. "I'm going to be at the demonstration all day, and you know how election years can get."_   
_  
"Of course, dear," their father's voice answered._   
_  
"And could you make sure the boys save their ice cream for after dinner?" she called again. "I don't want them ruining their appetites."_   
_  
"Of course, dear."_   
_  
"I don't know why you're complaining," Sora whispered as their mother left the house. "I **like** it when Dad cooks."_

Roxas was distracted from his thoughts by a blue hand waving in front of his face.

"Earth to Roxas," Axel called. Roxas blinked, and saw Axel with an amused look on his face.

"Ah, sorry," Roxas said apologetically. "I don't mean to be such a space-case. Let's finish cleaning up." Five minutes later, the ice cream was sitting in the freezer and the kitchen area was more or less clean. Roxas looked over their workspace a final time, and found himself covering a large yawn.

"You feeling alright?" Axel asked. "I didn't think the ice cream-making was _that_ exhausting."

"Oh no, it wasn't," Roxas said slowly. "I guess I just didn't get much sleep last night." He covered another yawn with his hand. "Don't know where these are coming from. I'll just... take a nap or something." He wandered over to the foot of the stairs.

"I guess you did get up pretty early," Axel responded, following him to the stairs, brow furrowed. "I'll wake you up for dinner, okay?"

"Y-yeah," Roxas said, managing a small smile. This seemed to encourage Axel, who gave a large, albeit somewhat strained, grin in return.

"Just get some rest, and you'll feel a lot better afterwards," the redhead reassured him. "You look like you're gonna pass out standing up." Roxas nodded and slowly climbed the stairs to his room.

He fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, barely remembering to take his shoes off and just laying on top of the covers, but his sleep was anything but restful. His dreams were full of seemingly random images flying past one another almost instantaneously, no single scene staying for more than a few seconds. Darkness. Light. Rain. Fire. Yellow. Amber-orange. Blood-red.

"What..." Roxas tossed and turned in the dark room. "Keyblade... why?" A tall figure entered the room, bright eyes narrowed and focused on the bed. "No one... heart..." The figure moved closer as Roxas became more agitated, a fine sheen on sweat forming on his brow. "Be... Sora..." The figure reached out a hand, holding it over Roxas's distressed form, but seemed to make no move to touch him. "Sora... find... I have to... Sora!"

Roxas woke up, gasping for air and sitting up quickly, hands fisted tightly in the blankets. He looked around frantically, eyes wide, jumping when he saw Axel standing next to the bed, hand pulled back as if he'd been burned.

"What..." Roxas rasped, his throat not seeming to work properly. He tried again. "What happened?"

"I came to get you for dinner," Axel said carefully, eyes wary. "It's eight-thirty."

"Eight thirty," Roxas repeated. "I've been asleep for-"

"Pretty much all afternoon," Axel interrupted quickly, then paused jerkily and started again. "I think you were having a nightmare."

"A-a nightmare," he could only repeat again, willing his breathing to even out. "It wasn't real. It was just a dream." His heart thudded in his chest.

"I made stroganoff," Axel added. "I kept it warm for you; it shouldn't be that bad."

"Did I say anything?" Roxas asked. "My head really hurts."

"You mean you don't remember anything?" Axel asked quickly again. Roxas looked at him quizzically.

"No," he said slowly, head still fuzzy, "I think I just have a headache."

"No," Axel said, expression unreadable in the dim light. "You didn't say anything." He paused and turned towards the door. "I'll go get you some painkillers."

x X x X x

It was their fourth day in the house, and Roxas woke slowly to a bright, albeit empty room. Glancing blearily at the clock, he saw that it was nearly eleven, much later than when he usually woke up. He blinked, and it took him a few moments to reconcile the light color of his comforter with the vague shadows of the night before. He had the feeling that his dreams last night were the same ones he'd been having for the past few days, but he still couldn't remember all that had happened in them.

They must have been getting clearer, though, because he thought of a few things that didn't leave his mind right away. There was something to do with - with darkness and rain, and he was looking for something, but someone was trying to stop him. He had wanted to look for, wanted to _find_ that thing - was it a thing? He wasn't sure; it might have been a who that he was looking for, it might have been -

His head hurt. He massaged the back of it with his hand, but only seemed to succeed in messing up his hair even more than it already was from sleep. Groaning lightly, he dragged himself out of bed and looked for some clothes. Finding a pair of worn jeans, he slowly pulled them on, knees sticking out of the fairly large holes in the denim. He debated finding a shirt, but decided it was warm enough already upstairs and too much of a hassle.

Shuffling down the stairs slowly, still not completely awake, he found Axel in the living room browsing one of the bookshelves absently. Axel must have heard him come downstairs because he turned slowly, an easy smile on his face.

"Oh, look who finally decided to grace us with his presence," Axel said, eyes sparkling. "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." Roxas rubbed the back of his head again, which only seemed to amuse Axel further.

"I think I'm still asleep," he responded. "My head is killing me." He wandered in the direction of the kitchen, Axel abandoning his literary perusal to follow closely behind.

"Maybe you need a wake-up kiss still," Axel suggested, and Roxas didn't have to turn around to know how much the redhead's eyebrows were waggling.

"Pills," Roxas said decisively. "What I need are pills. And maybe some water." But turn around he did, and he tilted his head up to receive a quick kiss before reaching into the kitchen cabinet for the bottle of painkillers. Accepting a glass of water from Axel with a grim look, he downed two of the small capsules.

"Alas!" Axel lamented mockingly, hand on his forehead and head tilted back. "You've become an addict, and I too late to stop you! What is this world coming to?" Roxas snorted as he attempted to drink the rest of his water, managing to not spray his mouthful all over the kitchen through sheer force of will.

"Try not to break anything," he said, the corner of his mouth twitching into a smirk.

"Only my heart, dear Roxas," Axel said, hand moving to his chest as he looked down at the blond, "only my heart." Axel managed to keep a straight face for all of two seconds before he caved, cracking up horribly.

"You're hopeless," Roxas said, lips still in a smirk. Axel looked at him mournfully. "But I do feel a little better, now," he added as an afterthought, now with a true smile. He looked up, and was met with Axel's beaming smile, green eyes wide and impossibly bright.

 

x X x X x

 

Roxas walked out to the backyard, hooking the hose up to the side of the house once again. He wiped the sweat from his brow under his baseball cap, wincing at the sun high overhead. The hose gave a little splutter as he turned the rusty knob, but the water came out in a strong, clear stream.

He didn't really want to be out here with the sun threatening to intensify the headache currently pounding at his skull, but he supposed it wasn't to be helped. Eating in the kitchen what Axel called cereal for lunch but what he preferred to politely refer to as brunch, they'd found his mother's to-do list for the week attached to the fridge with a smiley-face magnet. Among various duties to actually earn his pay, such as dusting the downstairs and fixing the plaster in Leon's room again, was watering the flowers in both the front and back yards. He supposed it was too late to keep the flowers at a hundred percent, but he hoped he could at least prevent the awful drooping they'd acquired in the last few days of heat. Holding his thumb over the stream of water, he began spraying the blooms and trying to think up a suitable apology for his mother, starting with the narcissus.  
 _  
"Roooxas," a sixteen-year-old Sora protested," this is **boring**  and  **pointless**  and uncomfortably hot. I don't even see why we're out here." He punctuated this with much fanning of the hands towards his face._  
 _  
"We are outside here," Roxas responded, "because Mom asked Dad to water the plants for her, and he made us do it instead." Finished with the pink ones and the little periwinkle ones, he moved on to the yellow and white ones._  
 _  
"So if you're just gonna do it anyway," Sora asked, "why am I even **out**  here?" Roxas sighed and held the arm with the hose out towards his brother, gesturing for him to take it._  
 _  
"Now you can help," the blond said somewhat testily. "I have given your life both meaning and purpose, and you should reward me with ice cream and a Swedish masseuse." Sora stuck his tongue out at Roxas, but picked up the hose from his brother's outstretched arm, lazily covering the numerous flowers with moisture._  
 _  
"You know," Sora began, as if he was trying to prove a point, "Swedish masseuses are fine and all, but don't you want, I dunno, **more**  out of life?" He was spraying the hose over the flowers, yes, but this was soon delayed when he brought the hose near his mouth, drinking the water as if from a fountain and looking at Roxas expectantly._  
 _  
"What are you getting worked up about?" Roxas said, confused. "I was only joking about the masseuse thing."_  
 _  
"I'm not exactly sure myself," Sora laughed, letting the hose dangle at his side. "What I mean is haven't you ever just wanted to get up and **leave**  sometimes? Travel the world and not care where you end up?" His mouth was pulled up into an easy smile, and his eyes got that odd look in them that made the hair on the back of Roxas's neck stand on end._  
 _  
"But I don't want to leave," Roxas said slowly, haltingly, his own eyes wary and slightly narrowed. "I like it here." He watched Sora carefully, muscles suddenly tense for some unknown reason._  
 _  
"I decided a while ago," Sora continued, voice taking on an almost dreamy quality, "that as soon as I can, I'm going to leave this town and go find Riku and Kairi." His eyes traveled over to Roxas, and he held the hose back outwards again, still smiling. "Want a drink?"_  
 _  
"No," Roxas said, shaking his head, "I don't **want**  to leave, I want to stay here." He was practically a statue from the neck down. "You can't go looking for Riku and Kairi anyway, they don't-"_  
 _  
"You don't know anything about Riku and Kairi!" Sora snapped, dropping the hose and suddenly angry. Roxas took a step backwards involuntarily. "How would **you** feel if you knew your best friends were out there and waiting for you to come find them?" The hose lay on the grass, still pumping out water, forgotten._  
 _  
"I thought **I**  was your best friend," Roxas said quietly, forcing himself to hold Sora's fierce gaze._  
 _  
"You're the same as me," Sora said, voice hard, "but I don't think you could appreciate how much Riku, Kairi, and I miss each other." His brother was about to take a step forward, and Roxas knew, intellectually, that he should have been angry, but a weight settled onto him and turned his muscles into molasses._  
 _  
"I don't really think we're the same," Roxas responded softly, almost in monotone, "but I don't think I can change your mind." He moved to pick up the hose. Sora stopped abruptly, as if only then realizing what he had just said._  
 _  
"Roxas, I-"_  
 _  
"No, it's alright," Roxas continued, face carefully blank. "If you say you don't need anyone here anymore, then I'll just have to get on without you. You can leave, and go find Riku and Kairi, and I'll just stay here. The flowers look like they're done, don't you think?" He turned and shut the water off, before walking calmly into the house, ignoring both Sora and his parents. Shutting the door to his room, he laid down on the bed, and clutched the slowly dampening pillow to his face._

Roxas threw the hose at the ground, ignoring the now-flooded flowerbed and walking swiftly to the side of the house, wrenching the faucet shut and not caring that the hose was out or that all the other plants were going to wilt. He went back into the house, not looking where he was going, and practically ran into Axel.

"Roxas?" Axel asked, a puzzled tone to his voice. "Did you finish with the watering already?" He made to place his hand on Roxas's shoulder, but the blond shrugged him off.

"Please don't talk to me," Roxas said, in a tone that was just barely even. He tried to walk past Axel and into the living room, but his elbow was successfully caught in the other's grip.

"What's up with you?" Axel protested, not letting go when Roxas attempted to jerk away and push past him. Roxas glared up, ready with a scathing remark on the tip of his tongue, but stopped short when he saw Axel's frown and hurt expression.

"I - sorry," he sighed, looking away, his whole body seeming to deflate. "I was just - my head hurts still, and the sun was just making it worse." Axel slowly let go, and Roxas's arm dropped to his side.

"I see," Axel said dubiously, clearly not believing him, and Roxas knew that he had been caught. "Well, if you want to, you could always take another nap, or..."

"No!" Roxas said, forcefully. He regretted his tone as soon as he opened his mouth, and tried to backpedal. "Ahh,  _sorry_ ; I'm not tired, I just-" he searched desperately for something to say that wouldn't make him sound like a jerk again. "Why don't we go out and see a movie or something?" he suggested.

"A movie?" Axel echoed, nonplussed.

"Y-yeah," Roxas nodded, gaining momentum, "there's that new Vincent Valentine movie I want to see. I don't want to be in this house anyway, right now." He winced; that last part was meant more for himself than for Axel, and he mentally cursed himself for letting it slip.

"Alright," Axel agreed slowly, thankfully ignoring the last part as well, "I'll try not to get too jealous of the glorious Mr. Valentine." Roxas winced again, pretended not to notice the way Axel's smile didn't quite reach his eyes, and let his feet move themselves towards the door. "C'mon," Axel said, fishing in his pocket for his keys, "it's my treat today; I'll drive." Roxas nodded and spent the next two and a half hours trying to keep Sora's words out of his head.  
 _  
"Roxas," Sora's voice called from out in the hallway, "open the door, already."_  
 _  
"It's not locked," Roxas responded, hoarse. "Just do whatever you want to do."_  
 _  
"I'm **sorry** , already," Sora continued, strained, as he slowly opened the door, hinges creaking just the tiniest bit. "Just give me a chance to explain." Roxas clutched the pillow tighter to his body._  
 _  
"What's there to explain, Sora?" Roxas replied. His throat felt like someone had rubbed sandpaper on the inside, and it hurt to talk. "You obviously don't want to be here anymore, so you should just leave. I'm not stopping you."_  
 _  
"Look, Roxas," Sora sighed, and Roxas felt the mattress dip. "Even if you won't admit it, I can tell you're upset, and you don't understand what I'm trying to say; there's nothing I can do about that right now. What I **can**  do is tell you that you **will**  eventually understand, even if now isn't the time, yet._  
 _  
"I'm still going to leave, but it's not the horrible thing you're making it out to be. When the time comes and you remember why I need to find Riku and Kairi, you won't be mad. There are still things you need to do, but when you're ready, you just come and talk to me, and we'll be together again." The inches between them seemed like a vast canyon, and the silence stretched out as Sora finished speaking._  
 _  
"I don't want you to leave me alone," Roxas whispered, and he wasn't sure if Sora heard him or not._

After a small dinner of the previous night's leftovers, Roxas went to bed early again, citing his head as the guilty party. Axel simply nodded as if he'd been expecting it, eyes not leaving Roxas's face. Roxas was about to go upstairs, but turned abruptly, pulling Axel into a long embrace, burying his head in the other's shirt.

"Roxas?" Axel asked uncertainly, caught off-guard at first, but relaxing soon enough. Roxas looked up into worried green eyes.

"Don't stay up too late, okay?" he asked, forcing a smile. The redhead nodded once, gravely, and Roxas ducked his head again, giving one last squeeze before untangling himself awkwardly and walking up the stairs.

x X x X x

Waking slowly, Roxas tried to open sleep-gummed eyes. He attempted to sit up, but immediately felt dizzy and disoriented. Laying back down and keeping his eyes closed, he tried to will his head to stop throbbing. It felt like it was going to split open, and he somehow knew that he had been dreaming again. But despite his head, or maybe because of it, he tried once again to remember what had been in the dreams. It seemed like it was getting easier to remember, though, like there was a reason, there was something important that he needed to know. He pressed his hands to his temples.

Rain. He remembered that it was raining, and that it was nighttime because it was dark. He was somewhere... unfamiliar, somewhere he couldn't remember seeing before. Somewhere strange, almost unreal. He'd... thought he was alone, but he was wrong, there was someone else there, someone who knew that he would be there. They'd been... waiting for him. Waiting -  _there was something to do with waiting_ , and he'd wanted to go somewhere, but that person was stopping him. He wanted to leave, but he was being  _stopped_. Where did he want to go, and  _why_  was he leaving?

It was no use. Roxas was surprised that he didn't pass out from the pain, but as soon as he stopped trying to remember what had been in his dream, his headache immediately lessened. It didn't go away, of course, but it did get exponentially better. Grimly realizing that any further explorations into the nature of his dreams were going to be painful, he grit his teeth and sat up again. He decided that he wasn't going to give up on trying to find out, but that he would simply wait for a more opportune moment.

But he also had to be cautious. Axel was worried about him, he could tell, and his parents were coming back in two days. However he did it, he had to make sure that Axel didn't know about it, and he had to do it before his two days were up. Something told him that if Axel found out about the dreams, then he would never remember, and he felt a twisting, aching pain in his chest at the thought of failure.

x X x X x

"Good morning," Axel said cheerfully as Roxas walked into the kitchen, but he frowned a bit as he took in Roxas's bedraggled appearance. "You look like you just got run over by a semi." Roxas blinked slowly.

"I  _feel_  like I just got run over by  _ten_  semis," he responded, walking over to the fridge slowly. He opened it to search for the milk, but blinked again in confusion when he noticed it was missing. Turning sluggishly towards Axel, he was met with the sight of the redhead sitting at the table, jiggling the milk around with his hand, eyebrow raised. "Oh man," he muttered, running a hand through his hair, "today is definitely _not_  my day."

"Apparently so," Axel replied, somewhat amused. "I guess today is cleaning day, then?" Roxas shut the fridge, but remained standing, facing Axel.

"That sounds mindless enough to be a wonderful plan," Roxas said, still not moving. Axel's eyebrow was still raised.

"You gonna sit down?" Axel asked, gesturing to one of the chairs. Roxas sighed, but nodded.

"Yes," he said, deliberately. "I am going to sit down, eat my breakfast, and go on to conquer the day with gusto. But first, I am going to get some painkillers." He walked over to one of the cabinets. "If I pass out in my cereal and start to drown, will you give me CPR?"

x X x X x

Roxas dragged the dustrag slowly over the piano, smiling softly as he pressed the keys down, notes climbing higher in a meaningless scale. They'd decided to start their cleaning project with the downstairs area, the main tasks being dusting, vacuuming, and sweeping, depending on the room. The living room was the last place downstairs, and then all that was left was to fix the plaster in Leon's room. It wasn't that the other rooms of the house didn't need to be fixed also, it was just that Leon's was the worst.

Dropping the dustrag on the piano bench, Roxas slowly began putting the various picture frames back on top of the piano. Placing the frames in their original positions, he let his gaze sweep over various events both before and after his birth. His father standing with his long-haired college friends, his parents' wedding photo, and his mother's prize-winning azaleas were all placed together in an aesthetically pleasing arc. The photo of his Uncle Cid next to his prized airplane and the official Senior Prom photograph of Leon with his arm around a pretty brunette girl followed soon after, placed within their own little arc.

The last photo to go on the piano was of himself and Sora, taken on the Beach Bonfire night, hanging on each others' shoulders, clutching sticks with marshmallows skewered on the ends. Whoever had taken the picture must have said something funny because Sora was grinning widely, chocolate from the s'mores still in the corner of his mouth. Roxas, who was normally the more serious one, was wearing his own bright smile, and the two boys seemed completely at ease, blue eyes open and sparkling. That photo had been taken only four days after their seventeenth birthday, and was the last one of Sora before-

No. He wasn't going to think about that. This was getting him  _nowhere_. Sora had said that he would remember, and he figured that now he at least knew some of what Sora had been telling him. He had to - no, it was his  _duty_ , his  _obligation_  to find out the rest of his dreams, to finally finish what Sora had begun.  
 _  
"Hey, Roxas," Sora said as they walked along the dusky beach. "I gotta tell you something; it's really important." His voice had that strange quality to it again, and his eyes were on the far horizon._  
 _  
"What is it?" Roxas asked reluctantly, already getting the feeling that he didn't want to know the answer. It seemed like every time Sora got that look in his eyes or that wistful tone of voice, he was moving further and further away from Roxas._  
 _  
"When I go to look for Riku and Kairi-" Sora began._  
 _  
"Please don't talk about that," Roxas interrupted. A dull sensation began to creep over him._  
 _  
"I have to, Roxas," Sora said, resolute. "There's not much time left, and I might not get another chance." Roxas stopped in his tracks, and Sora only took a few steps before he turned around, wearing a regretful expression._  
 _  
"No," Roxas protested, quiet and fragile. "I don't want you to go." There was a pain, an ache deep inside him that only seemed to increase with each breath he took._  
 _  
"I **have**  to," Sora repeated. "I've waited long enough, and I simply can't bear it any longer." His mouth was set in a hard line, but his eyes were wild, begging Roxas to understand. His eyes were always begging, always asking things that Roxas couldn't deliver._  
 _  
"What's so great about Riku and Kairi, huh?" Roxas wondered aloud, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. "What's so **amazing**  about them that you just can't stand it here anymore?" He began to speak faster and faster. "What's so horrible about being here that makes you want to leave? What's so  **terrible**  about this place that you can't stay at all?" He was at a fever pitch now, and it was only because they had moved so far away from everyone else that no one from the Bonfire heard him. "Why do you  **hate**  us so much that you would want to leave?"_  
 _  
"Hey, I don't hate you," Sora said, frowning and moving towards Roxas, "I never said anything like that!" He tried to grab Roxas's hand, but the blond jerked it away. "Roxas, **listen**  to me!"_  
 _  
"And why the **hell**  would I want to do something like that?" Roxas challenged. You're just going to leave anyway." His eyes were getting blurry, and Sora's frustrated face became less and less defined. He felt like he was going to be ripped in two. "Why would you wanna leave me all alone?"_  
 _  
"Why do you think I stayed so long in the first place?" Sora asked, grabbing onto Roxas's wrists. Roxas tried to twist out of the grip, but Sora held tight, tugging Roxas so that they were face-to-face. "I coulda left so many times, but I didn't want to leave you without explaining everything first," he said gently. Roxas blinked wetly and stopped struggling. "Of course I don t wanna leave you; you're **Roxas**. It really hurts me that you'd think I could ever hate you."_  
 _  
"I don't understand," Roxas whispered. Sora let go of his hands and pulled him into the tightest hug he d ever experienced. He couldn't breathe, couldn't see anything, but the horrible ripping sensation from before was gone._  
 _  
"Are you gonna listen to me now?" Sora asked, eyes serious, after they had pulled away. Roxas nodded, and wiped at his eyes. "It might not make complete sense to you right now, but you gotta promise to believe me, 'cause it's all true._  
 _  
"It's hard to explain, but I can **remember**  things. Everything about Riku and Kairi, everything about the Keyblade, I remember it. I've been delaying it for as long as I can because I knew you weren't ready to understand it before, but I don't think I can do that anymore. This place... it doesn't feel real to me anymore, and I need to be with Riku and Kairi again. There's only a small window of time left for me to leave, and if I don't go soon, I might never be able to. I  **know**  you don't want me to leave, and I would take you with me if I thought it would help, but I know you're still not ready yet. I have to go, but there are things here that you still need to do."_  
 _  
"What kind of stuff would **I**  have to do?" Roxas wondered aloud. He could keep his voice steady now, but could feel that dull ache on the edge of his senses, waiting to take over._  
 _  
"You have to stay here with the Keyblade," Sora said._  
 _  
"But I thought you-"_  
 _  
"I know, I **know** ," Sora repeated, "but once I find Riku and Kairi again, I can use the real one. I m giving you the one I made so that you can protect all the people here afterwards." Roxas opened his mouth to protest, but Sora held up a hand. "When you remember, that'll be when the time comes for you to leave, and and that's when we'll be together again." He smiled at Roxas, and then held out his pinky._  
 _  
"...What?" Roxas asked, looking down at Sora's hand, and then back up at his brother's face._  
 _  
"Promise me," Sora said, "that when you remember, you'll come find me. I'll be with Riku and Kairi by then, but no matter where we are, you gotta promise me that we'll be together again, okay?"_  
 _  
"O-okay," Roxas replied, holding out his own hand and trying to look as determined as Sora. They shook with their pinkies, and then let their arms fall to their sides. He didn't believe everything that Sora had said still, but he didn't want him to be in pain, especially not for Roxas's sake. "It's a promise."_  
 _  
"A promise," Sora smiled. Roxas promised to himself, also, that he would do everything in his power to track Sora down._

'-xas? Roxas!"

"...What?" Roxas was disoriented, and he slowly became aware that someone was shaking him.

"Oh, finally, thank god," someone said in obvious relief, and the grip on his shoulders loosened. Roxas blinked, and his vision was filled with green eyes.

"Ax...el?" he asked, uncertain. He blinked again, and the world came into focus, Axel's worried face directly in front of him. He realized absently that he was still holding the picture frame, arm loose at his side.

"Roxas, are you okay?" Axel questioned him. "You were completely spaced out, and I couldn't snap you out of it." Roxas focused on keeping his breathing even.

"I-I'm okay," he said, blinking again and looking calmly up at Axel.

"You're  _shaking_. Why are you shaking?" It took him a second to realize that Axel was right.

"I'm fine," Roxas continued, ignoring Axel's disturbed expression. He removed himself from the other's grip, was met with no resistance, and turned to place the picture face-down on the top of the piano. "I think I'm going to go lie down now." He concentrated, and was pleased to learn that he was able to bring his muscles back under control.

"You don't look fine to me," Axel argued, but didn't stop him from walking purposefully over to the couch, baby steps taking him an age to get there. Roxas sat down on the couch, and looked at Axel once again.

"I am fine," Roxas insisted, tone still even. "I just need to rest for a little bit, and you should go upstairs to fix Leon's room. I would help you, but I'd probably just get in your way."

"Something is wrong, I can tell," Axel pressed. Roxas watched him turn and look at the photograph on the piano and saw the line of his shoulders tense. He didn't like doing this to Axel, but he knew that he had to keep this between himself and Sora. "Roxas, Axel said, like he was fishing for the right words, does this have something to do with-"

"By the time you finish with the plaster and come back downstairs," Roxas said decisively, "everything will be back to normal." Axel looked frustrated. "If you'll excuse me, I think it would be best if I took a nap or something."

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," Axel replied tightly, but turned and walked upstairs.

As soon as Axel left, Roxas stretched out on the couch and closed his eyes. He brought his hands to his temples once again, and tried to focus on the dreams he'd been having. Predictably, his head began to pound again, but he ignored that and thought only of the dreams, trying to continue on from where he'd left off.

He was leaving. He was leaving, and someone was trying to stop him. The place he was leaving seemed unimportant to him. He'd had enough, and there was no meaning for him there anymore. He was... he was  _looking_  for something, something really important to him. This  _thing_  that he was looking for, it wasn't... it wasn't an actual thing. It was a  _person_ , he was looking for a person because - because this person  _had_  something. Something he wanted. There was... there was something _wrong_  with him, and - and he  _needed_  it. There was something that he  _needed_ , more than air, and he was - he was  _looking_  because that person  _had_  it, and he  _needed_  it, and...

The sound of Axel as he walked down the stairs was jarring in the quiet living room and halted his train of thought. He stopped trying to remember the dream, and brought his hands away from his head. The throbbing in his head lessened considerably, and he was able to sit up and face Axel.

"Sorry about earlier," he said, grinning a bit sheepishly. "I think the nap really helped this time." All the tension in Axel's shoulders seemed to dissipate, and the redhead walked swiftly towards the couch.

"That's really good to hear," Axel said, smile threatening to break out. "You were really scaring me for a while there." Roxas looked towards the floor, flushing slightly.

"I-I didn't mean to make you worry," he said softly, face pink, "but I  _do_  feel better now." Looking up, he saw that Axel was now wearing just about the cheesiest grin he'd ever seen.

"I'm really,  _really_  glad to hear that," Axel replied, and Roxas felt his own cheesy grin creep onto his face.

"Really?" Roxas asked, poking Axel lightly in the stomach.

" _Really_ ," Axel laughed, then held out a hand, helping Roxas up from the couch. "Say, it's about dinner time now," he drawled. "What do you want to eat?"

"Ooh, let's go over to Bagheera's," Roxas said playfully. "If I get my shoes on now, we can walk and be there in less than ten minutes." Axel raised an eyebrow.

"The mighty Roxas has decided to walk to restaurants now like the common folk?" he asked. Roxas stuck his tongue out at him.

"If you must know," Roxas answered lightly, affecting pique, "we are in the middle of a heat wave." He then grinned again. "But if I ever get cold, you re also the best heater out there."

"You are just  _too_  cute, sometimes," Axel laughed again, making a point to watch Roxas carefully as he bent over to tie his shoes. "I feel absolutely ridiculous now about earlier." Roxas stood up and hooked his arm in Axel's as they walked out the door.

x X x X x

Dinner was a strange, entertaining affair, filled with spicy food, zesty conversation, and a slightly risqué game of footsie under the table. Axel's gestures became more expansive as the night progressed, until he ended up flinging a piece of chicken off of his fork as he made a particularly significant point in his theory regarding the exact nature of their friend Demyx's relationship with his lab partner in his chemistry class.

Roxas nearly doubled over as the unfortunate bite of dinner sailed through the air and into the water glass of a nearby patron. Axel began apologizing profusely to the offended woman, and was nearly successful in keeping a straight face. Roxas himself didn't even try to contain his snickers, which was probably the true cause of the waiter almost instantly walking over and asking them if they wanted their check. Taking the bill and apologizing halfheartedly again, Axel led Roxas out of the restaurant and back towards the house.  
As soon as they were back in the door, Roxas sprang into action. Slamming the door shut with his foot and spinning, he pinned Axel against the wall. Pressing his body flush against the other's, he grabbed a fistful of red hair in each hand and pulled Axel down for a kiss.

"He-hey, whoa," Axel said, pushing Roxas back a bit, "what brought this on?" Roxas tried to shift his hips closer, and Axel tried to shift them away. "Lemme get my coat off first, at least," he pleaded as Roxas snaked a hand up the front of his shirt. "Then we can go upstairs, okay?"

"Not later," Roxas said. " _Now._ " Axel made a little dash to the side as he finished pulling his coat off, possibly to slip away for a second. Roxas caught his wrist and pulled him into the living room, coat forgotten on the floor. His own coat followed a moment later, which was then joined swiftly by their shoes and Axel's shirt. "Want you  _now_ ," he demanded, pushing Axel backwards onto the couch.

"I-I thought," Axel said somewhat breathily, head tilted back, "this was - ah! - sacred, or - or something." Roxas removed his mouth from the redhead's collarbone and gave him long-suffering look.

"There's no one still here that cares about it," he replied, punctuating his statement by grinding his hips downwards into Axel's. "And I didn't want to wait." He then proceeded to attack Axel's mouth again, swallowing the other's groan and only pausing to take off his own shirt.

There was a part of Roxas that wondered, as his pants managed to land on the coffee table, if what he'd been doing all evening was pointless. He knew somehow that when he woke up tomorrow morning, he would remember everything from the dreams. As soon as tomorrow happened, he wouldn't want to do anything but find Sora. Was it selfish to want tonight to last just a little bit longer?

But Roxas didn't want to think about the dreams right now, so he decided that doing something like shoving his hand down Axel's boxers would be a good idea. Focusing on the sounds they were making, memorizing the heat and feel of Axel's skin; this might be the last chance he had to completely lose himself in something like home, to hang onto that last little bit of heaven. He didn't think it was selfish to want one night to say goodbye.

x X x X x  
 _  
The Roxas that was Number XIII walked briskly through the Dark City, the heart-shaped moon hanging high overhead and the glowing neon casting jagged shadows in the alleyways. His hands itched for his keyblades, but he ignored the glowing yellow eyes that seemed to watch his every move, gaze fierce and unrelenting as he stalked away from the Castle. The City was virtually silent around him, the only audible sounds being the folds in his coat and the impact of his boots upon the pavement. His foot splashed in the edge of a puddle, but he kept moving resolutely forward. There was only one thing on his mind now: getting answers about himself, about the Keyblade._  
 _  
It was quiet, yes, but he'd taken great pains to arrange that. He'd left the Castle in the dead of night, all other members either asleep or on longer-term missions on other worlds. No one could have possibly-_  
 _  
Fuck. Axel._  
 _  
Roxas continued walking and kept his gaze straight ahead, letting a cool, indifferent mask slide onto his face. He'd nearly made it past the other, who'd been leaning against the side of a building for what seemed like quite some time now, but it appeared that luck was not to be on his side just then._  
 _  
"Your mind's made up?" the redhead asked coolly and somewhat bitterly. Roxas stopped walking, but didn't turn around._  
 _  
"Why did the Keyblade choose me..." he replied, looking over his shoulder a bit. Axel's tense face came into view, but Roxas kept his expression neutral. "I have to know."_  
 _  
"You would turn on the Organization?" Axel snapped, turning towards him sharply with tightly-closed fists. "If you get on their bad side, they'll destroy you!"_  
 _  
"It's not like anyone would be sad," Roxas said cynically. They were Nobodies, and thus could not feel such things as joy, or sadness. No matter how much they may have wished otherwise, such emotions were kept out of reach for them. He continued walking once more away from the Castle. It began to rain, and he pulled his hood over his face, features obscured within the dark folds._  
 _  
"Hey," Axel's voice drifted softly over to him from behind, "I would... be sad." Roxas grit his teeth; why would Axel insist something like this? He **knew**  they didn't have hearts, so what was his point, his reason? It wasn't  **possible** , Axel couldn't - he concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, and didn't stop until he'd reached the base of Memory's Skyscraper._  
 _  
Pulling out his keyblades in a fluid motion, he began slicing violently through the Shadows that had started to gather around him. Metal sang in the increasing downpour as the released hearts drifted up towards the moon._

x X x X x

Roxas woke up early on the sixth day, and remembered everything. He remembered everything about himself, about Sora, about the Keyblade, and about the Organization.

Laying still, eyes closed, he listened to the sounds of Axel getting ready for work. He wasn't sure when they'd finally made it up the stairs last night, only to fall back into his bed, but it didn't matter to him all that much anymore. He'd have to pick up their clothes from the living room later, but that was only one small task in what was surely going to be a busy day.

As soon as he heard the front door close and the motor of Axel's car disappear down the street, he sat up and got out of bed, blue eyes sharp and awake. Showering mechanically, he dressed in an old shirt and the jeans without the holes. He walked downstairs and put two slices of bread in the toaster. Moving to the living room, he hung his coat on a hook in the hall and gathered the rest in his arms. Pausing to grab his toast from the kitchen, he walked back upstairs and dumped the clothes with the rest of what Axel had worn that week. He could live without that one outfit, and thought that Axel might want to keep it.

The toast was completely gone by the time he opened the door to the attic, quickly finding a stack of collapsed cardboard boxes and carrying them back down to the upstairs hall. He folded one back into a box, carried it into Sora's room, and began packing. It was good that Axel was going to be at work today; hopefully, Roxas would finish and be out the door before he came back.

Roxas wondered if it was ironic, as he folded the contents of Sora's closet, that he seemed to be acting out the same motions time and time again. The stagnant towns, the confusion, the unknown aches; everything in Roxas's life seemed like a tired joke, punch line far too worn to ever make people laugh. He hated always being the last to know, hated the lies and the frustration, hated feeling powerless and trapped.

It wasn't that he enjoyed leaving excessively, it was just that he couldn't stand to be in this house, in this town for one more day. His life seemed to be always cut short one day too soon, and he couldn't manage to last a full week even now. But the people still here, they couldn't possibly understand the pull that Sora created in him; his family, his friends,  _Axel_ , they all paled in comparison to the brightness that was  _Sora_. Life here was good while it lasted, but it was quickly fading to the back of his mind.

God, he wanted to  _leave_ , he wanted to get  _out_  of here. Sora was talking about the Keyblade when they were fourteen; how he had managed to last three  _years_  without Riku and Kairi, when Roxas was barely managing a day? Then again, Sora always  _did_ have more patience, and he said that he'd stayed for Roxas.

Part of Roxas still wanted to stay long enough to explain to Axel why he was leaving, but just as Sora had left before his own personal deadline, a mere two days after the Bonfire, Roxas knew that he had to get out before it was too late. Filling his little black Volvo to the brim with boxes of Sora's and his things, he was disappointed to see it reach its capacity so quickly. Sora had left without taking any of his possessions, and although Roxas had been confused and upset at the time, he understood now that it had been the best decision.  
 _  
Roxas woke in the middle of the night to the sounds of the door to Sora's room closing with a click and footsteps going down the stairs. He was up and alert at once, feet slipping into his shoes as he crept downstairs, following, arms in his jacket and out the door before he even noticed he'd left his bed. Nerves singing and hair standing on end, he practically **ran**  towards the driveway; Sora was warming up his motorcycle, fully dressed in his jacket and gloves, holding his helmet but otherwise unburdened._  
 _  
"Sora!" he called desperately, hair flying around his face in the chilly wind. "What are you doing?" He bit his lip and knew, as Sora turned to face him with sorrowful eyes, what he was going to say._  
 _  
"I'm leaving," Sora said calmly. He moved to get on his bike, but Roxas grabbed him by the arm._  
 _  
"Don't leave," Roxas pleaded. "I don't want you to leave." Sora shook his head and pulled himself free._  
 _  
"I told you before," Sora explained, smiling sadly as he zipped his jacket up, "this is something that I have to do." He tugged at his gloves, and the awful, aching feeling started to spread through Roxas's body._  
 _  
"No," Roxas protested, "please don't leave!" Sora threw his leg over his motorcycle and sat down. "I-I'll go with you!" he exclaimed. "You can take me with you, can't you?"_  
 _  
"I'd love to," Sora responded, frowning, "but you know I can't do that." The wind whipped through again, and Roxas started to shiver. His breathing became more ragged as the dull ache became more acute._  
 _  
"I don't **want**  you to go," Roxas said miserably, chest heaving. He was going to shake completely apart, he was certain._  
 _  
"...C'mere," Sora sighed, smiling gently, holding the arm not cradling his helmet out towards Roxas. Roxas dove into the embrace, holding his brother tightly. "It's not for forever," Sora murmured. "You just gotta wait a little bit longer 'cause there's still stuff for you to do. But when you're ready, you grab the Keyblade and you come and find me, okay?" He loosened his grip a bit, and Roxas pulled back._  
 _  
"Are we ever gonna be together again?" Roxas asked sadly. Sora's smile widened._  
 _  
"Of **course** , silly," the brunet said. "We made a promise, didn't we? We'll be together forever." Roxas stepped backwards, and the tearing sensation in his chest flared back to life. Sora grinned brightly, eyes sparkling and mouth wide._  
 _  
"See ya," Sora said cheerfully, and put his helmet on. Roxas was trembling uncontrollably, but Sora just put up the kickstand and revved the engine, roaring away from the house and out of his life._  
 _  
Roxas's body shook violently, and he collapsed on the pavement, legs folded uselessly under him. His entire being was one twisting, splitting mass of pain, and it was like he had been ripped apart, everything vital speeding off with Sora and his bike. Dimly, he heard the front door open and slam shut, his parents dashing outside a minute too late. His mother was trying to pull him up off the ground, hysterically insisting that he tell her what on earth was going on, but he just continued to sit there, staring straight ahead._  
 _  
"He left," Roxas said tonelessly, eyes vacant. "He's gone. Sora's gone."_

x X x X x

Roxas was ready, now, he knew. He felt a strange sense of elation wash over him when he realized that he would be seeing Sora again shortly. Yes, he was going to leave, but it would be to find Sora, to reunite with the most essential, wonderful person in the world. All the confusion he'd been feeling before seemed to fall away, and questions he'd had about himself and about the Keyblade left his thoughts. Sora would have the answers; he would be with Sora soon, with the real Keyblade, and nothing could make him happier.

He began carrying the last box downstairs, hilt of the keyblade Sora'd made all those years ago sticking out of the top of the box. Turning the corner to walk down the rest of the stairs and out the front door, he was met with the sight of an extremely surprised Axel, who'd apparently just walked in the door.

Roxas stopped on the bottom step, regarding Axel silently. Axel made no indication that he would speak, either. They stood there for a long minute, staring at each other mute and unmoving; the redhead shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"You're back early," Roxas said, finally. He adjusted his grip on the box slightly.

"It was supposed to be a surprise," Axel replied, tense. "Mind telling me what the boxes are for? Your car's full of them." Roxas continued staring at Axel calmly, and saw that the other's hands were curled into loose fists at his sides.

"They're Sora's things," he responded, as if he was commenting on the weather. Axel started, and his gaze moved swiftly from Roxas's face to the hilt of the Keyblade, then back again just as quickly.

"And what are you going to do with them?" Axel asked, hands curled tighter now. Roxas deliberated internally for a moment, and then decided that Axel at least deserved to know the truth. He'd always hated not knowing things himself, and he didn't want to be the one putting others in that same situation.

"I'm leaving," Roxas said in an even tone. He watched critically as Axel's posture collapsed in on itself, face screwed up as if he'd been punched.

"...Wh-what?" Axel finally managed, breathing labored and uneven.

"I've been waiting long enough," Roxas explained, tone and expression unchanging, "and I don't want to wait any longer." Axel's face twisted again, and something that sounded like XIII's voice in his head told Roxas to walk out the door now, when he had the greatest advantage. He strode over towards the door, but Axel stood in front, blocking his way.

"I don't -  _why?_ " Axel rasped, eyes wide and pained. Roxas saw the deadness creep into the edges of those green eyes, but told himself sternly to continue.

"For Sora," Roxas said, barely even, trying to push past Axel with the box jostling in his grip. The redhead refused to move, though, and Roxas tried to shove with his shoulder.

"You're not making any sense!" Axel replied angrily. "What does Sora have to do with anything?" He tried to grab the box from Roxas's hands.

"Let me  _go_ ," Roxas demanded, attempting to jerk free. They were both pulling on the box, and it gave one more violent shake before flying out of their hands and spilling its contents onto the floor. Roxas dove for the Keyblade, but Axel was too fast, grabbing it by the shaft and stepping back quickly. A strangled noise escaped into the entranceway, and Roxas was shocked to discover that it had come from his mouth. "Give it back," he commanded, panting.

"Tell me why you want to leave," Axel retorted, eyes narrowed and watching Roxas's every move.

"Give it  _back!_ " Roxas repeated, breath stilted. Just as Axel's eyes wouldn't leave him, Roxas's own eyes were glued to the Keyblade. He reached out his arm, gritting his teeth and willing the Keyblade to return to his hands, but it didn't work. He cursed inwardly before remembering that this Keyblade was the one Sora had made. Once he saw Sora again, he could use the  _real_  one.

"Why do you want to leave?" Axel asked again, not letting go of the Keyblade. Roxas fought the impulse to wrestle it out of the redhead's grip, and though the idea seemed horrible, he made a conscious decision to leave without it. He would get the real one back once he was with Sora again, and he had to get out of the house before it was too late.

"There's nothing  _left_  here," he said, "nothing that's  _real_  anymore. I didn't understand what Sora had said before, but I do now." Axel threw the Keyblade into the living room, and Roxas fought off another urge to run and grab it.

"So this is about Sora," Axel intoned flatly. "What did he say to you, and why are you only freaking out about it now?" His fists were clenched again, and Roxas could see the tense, edgy set of his shoulders.

"He said that once I remembered," Roxas responded, with the smallest smile, "we could be together again." Axel froze, horror-struck, but Roxas continued wearing that small smile. "It's better this way." Turning, he walked briskly out the door. He'd made it about halfway to the car when Axel ran outside after him, grabbing onto his wrist tightly.

"Roxas!" Axel shouted. "I'm not going to let you leave!" Roxas tried to pull away, but Axel didn't seem like he was going to move anytime soon.

"Axel, please let go of me," Roxas said, strained, looking down at Axel's hand on his wrist. Axel didn't budge. "I have to  _go_ , I  _need_  to-" He felt his chest begin to heave again.

"Roxas, you  _can't go!_ " Axel snapped, furious. Once again, Roxas tried to twist away, and Axel grabbed his other arm as well.

"I need to  _go!_ " Roxas was gasping in deep gulps of air, straining to get away, and his voice was climbing in volume. "I need to find Sora!"

"There's no  _way!_  Sora -"

"No, I need to find  _Sora!_  Let me  _go!_ " Roxas screamed, voice cracking. He began to thrash in Axel's grip, but the other was holding on just as tight, if not tighter.

" _Roxas_ , Sora is-"

"No,  _no_ , I need to-" Roxas couldn't seem to get the air into his lungs fast enough. He was beating his fists and kicking out, trying to incapacitate Axel just long enough to run to the car.

"Roxas!" Axel yelled as he gave him a shake. "Sora's  _dead!_ " Roxas finally collapsed in Axel's arms.

"No, no!" Roxas sobbed, slumping to the ground. "He  _told_  me, he said-"

"He died three  _years_  ago," Axel continued mercilessly. "You told me so yourself."

"No, I have to go  _find_  him, he  _promised_  me..." Axel's grip on his shoulders had loosened, but Roxas was still trembling; a pain was starting to gather in his chest, spreading wider with each shaky, insufficient breath.

"They found him with his motorcycle at the bottom of a cliff," Axel soldiered on. "I hate to say it, but you're never gonna find him." Everything was unraveling too fast, too harshly.

"No... why?" Roxas gasped. "Why would you do this?" The tears were still flowing down his face.

"I can't believe you're still arguing," Axel said incredulously.

"Why would you do this to me?" He found that although the pain in his chest had not gone away, it was swiftly being joined by anger, a white-hot rage traveling through his veins. He turned in Axel's grip and threw his hands off, pushing back and glaring into Axel's hard green eyes.

"Roxas," the redhead responded, tone hard and clipped, "Sora's  _gone_. He's not coming back."

"No," Roxas protested, "he told me I had to go and find him! Why would you try to stop me from doing what's best?" He felt his body slide into a taut, defensive stance.

"Can't you see I'm trying to  _help_  you?" Axel said, his own voice rising to join Roxas's and tightening in response to the blond's posture.

"No!" Roxas yelled. "You're trying to stop me from seeing Sora!" He started to feel himself shake again. "You're always trying to  _stop_  me, why would you want to  _stop_ me?!" He was coming apart at the seams; he was falling to pieces, just like he had the night Sora had left, had-

" _Because I love you, you idiot!_ " Axel shouted.

For a long moment, Roxas stopped breathing altogether.

"...Wh- _what?_ " Roxas finally managed uncertainly, frozen.

"I said I love you," Axel repeated, stepping forward towards Roxas. "I'm not just gonna stand here and watch you try to destroy yourself." Roxas remained motionless for the most part, but his lip began to quiver.

"...Axel?" he whispered, suddenly hoarse. His head was spinning, and he felt himself sway unsteadily.

"I'd never forgive myself if I let anything happen to you," Axel said, smiling sadly. "It's your life  _now_  that's important; Sora's just a memory in the past." Roxas's eyes widened, and then he crumpled, falling bonelessly, Axel catching him just before his knees hit the ground.

"O-oh," Roxas moaned, "oh god." He shook in Axel s arms, shock and horror coursing through his veins. "I was - I was going to... oh  _god..._ " Clinging tightly to the front of Axel's shirt, he gave another sob.

" _Now_  are you gonna believe me when I tell you I'd be sad if you left?" Axel asked softly. Roxas looked up into bright, bright green eyes, and the last piece of the puzzle clicked neatly into place.

"You-you  _knew?_ " He was blinking the receding tears away, slightly awed. "All this time, and you  _knew?_ " Axel nodded once slowly, gaze unwavering. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I was so-" Axel started, halted, then began again. "You seemed  _happy_ , and I just wanted to be with you. I didn't want to cause you any unnecessary pain." He looked away from Roxas. "The last thing I wanted was for you to leave again." Roxas tightened his fingers in Axel's shirt.

"...Do you think it'd be okay?" he asked, throat raw. Axel's gaze was fixed swiftly on him again, and something like hope burned in his eyes. Roxas smiled shyly. "If I stayed?" A wide, impossible grin formed on Axel's mouth, and Roxas found a reluctant smile start to slide across his own face.

"Yeah, it'd be okay," Axel replied, glowing. "Let's go back inside." They stood up together, neither willing to let go of the other. He smiled again at Roxas as they walked up the steps to the front door. "Besides," he said, somewhat lazily, "I don't think that last box would've fit in that car of yours, anyway."

x X x X x

Roxas was sitting on the beat-up couch in the living room early next afternoon, leaning haphazardly against Axel, who had his feet propped up on the coffee table. He was working on the crossword, ballpoint pen caught between his teeth as he tried to figure out the answer to 27-down. Axel was alternating between giving suggestions for possible answers and placing light kisses on the back of his neck.

"Roxas, darling!" his mother called from outside the doorway. Roxas jumped and fell off the couch, nearly taking Axel down with him. "Could you be a dear and open the door for me? I haven't got any free hands." Picking himself up off the floor, Roxas walked quickly over to the door, where his mother was waiting.

"Ah, you're back!" he said, still somewhat surprised. "How was your trip?" He opened the door and took his mother's bags from out of her hands, letting her follow him inside. Glancing into the living room, he saw that Axel had removed himself from the couch as well, and was now hovering somewhat nervously in the center of the room.

"Oh, it was simply  _lovely_ ," his mother crooned, excitement visible in her open features. She was wearing a wide, knee-length powder-pink skirt, and a white blouse that still managed to stay crisp from their plane ride. She had on a wide-brimmed straw hat as well, but Roxas knew that she would still be wearing her ever-present pink bow underneath. "I think that we're going to have to take a trip like that  _every_ year, from now on."

"That sounds great," Roxas said, still jumpy for some unknown reason. His mother smiled at him serenely.

"It was like  _paradise_ ," she gushed at him. Looking around briefly, she appeared to notice Axel at last. "Oh,  _hello_ , Axel, honey, she said sweetly." Axel flushed.

"H-hi, Mrs. Aerith," Axel responded, face clashing with his hair, walking into the entrance now that he'd been spotted. She now turned back to face Roxas, mood not dampening for a second.

"Roxas, love," she said in a sing-song manner, "could you carry my bags upstairs for me?" Turning to Axel once more, she continued. "And could you go out to the car, sweetheart, and help bring in the rest of our luggage?" Axel's face, if possible, turned even redder.

"Sure, we will," Roxas said, trying to sound as chipper as his mother looked. Axel blinked, and Roxas elbowed the redhead in the ribs, causing him to jump a bit.

"Y-yeah," Axel agreed reluctantly, then bolted out the door. His mother continued smiling and followed him shortly after, gliding out the door effortlessly. Once he was alone in the entrance, Roxas rolled his eyes and picked up the bags again. A short trip up and down the stairs later, he met his father back downstairs in the hall.

"Hello, Roxas," his father said, cheerful but thankfully not quite as much as his mother. Roxas nodded in acknowledgment. "It's good to see the house more-or-less still standing."

"More-or-less," Roxas echoed, mouth pulled in a wry grin. "Welcome back." His father gave a light chuckle.

"Vacations to tropical islands are all well and good," his father said, smiling indulgently, "but it's always nice to come back home afterwards." Roxas nodded again, after a beat. "Now," the older man continued, eyes sparkling in amusement, "I think you should go rescue Axel from your mother." Jumping, Roxas nodded emphatically and followed his mother's voice into the kitchen.

"-and then the girl offered to draw our portrait," her soothing lilt wafted elegantly towards his ears. "For a small fee, of course, but it was simply the most  _breathtaking_ thing I'd ever seen. We were both there, but she'd drawn us against the backdrop of this spectacular waterfall, and with greenery all around the edges, too." She was rummaging in a smaller tote-bag, and didn't seem to notice Roxas walk in. He glanced over at Axel, who by now looked thankfully a little less unglued. Still frazzled, certainly, but it was an improvement.

"That sounds fantastic," Roxas said, and his mother turned, unruffled. Axel sent him a thankful look.

"Oh,  _there_  you are," his mother said. "I was just about to show Axel here the picture that island girl drew for us, but now that you're here, you can both see it!" She turned towards the bag once more before facing them again, displaying the picture proudly.

It was indeed a picture of his parents against a waterfall and island plants, and it was indeed breathtaking. The artist had used pastels, and had captured his father's easy smile and his mother's soft gentleness perfectly. But what had caught his attention almost immediately was the background. Each stream in the waterfall, each rock surrounding the base, each fern on the side, and the path on the left he  _knew_  would lead into a cave was the exact copy from the Destiny Islands in his dreams. What really startled him though and stopped his breath in his throat was the artist's name scribbled into the corner of the picture: Naminé.

"Roxas?" Axel asked, caution creeping into his voice. Roxas blinked, and began to breathe again, shoving a smile onto his face.

"It really is a good picture," he said lightly. "The artist must have a wonderful imagination." Axel seemed to relax, and his mother smiled brightly.

"Oh, you do like it," she hummed, not seeming to notice his earlier distress, or pretending not to, and placing the picture back into the bag. "Now let me just put this away, and then I ll get dinner started. You  _will_  stay for dinner, I hope. Axel can join us too, if he wants; you know how your father and I  _adore_  it when you let us talk to your friends." Successfully putting the picture away, she then proceeded to move into the pantry, gathering who-knows-what for dinner.

"...Boyfriend, actually, Mom," Roxas muttered, moving to stand next to the redhead before shifting on his feet uncomfortably. Axel shot him a panicked sideways look.

"What was that, Roxas?" his mother called absently, poking her head out from the pantry door.

"A-Axel is my boyfriend," Roxas said, fidgeting for a second, then rethinking and entwining one of his hands with Axel's. "We're... together." His mother blinked once, then sighed. Roxas felt his stomach doing somersaults.

"Oh, your father and I already knew that," his mother replied, suddenly amused. "We were just waiting for you to tell us." Roxas opened his mouth, and then closed it again. "Oh, don't look so surprised," she said, waving one of her hands. "You're not as slick as you think you are, mister. He has this  _huge_  hickey on his neck, by the way." Roxas darted a glance over to Axel quickly, noted the fairly large bruise that wasn't quite hidden by bright red hair, and came to the conclusion that he was going to die, right then and there. His mother sighed again, then raised an eyebrow. "What, you want to do this the hard way?" Exiting the pantry, she strode over to Axel and stared up at him intently, almost seeming to inspect him.

"M-Mrs. Aerith?" Axel stuttered, looking petrified. His expression told Roxas that he wanted nothing more than to bolt that instant, but somehow managed to stand his ground. After a few more seconds of terror, her expression lightened again.

"I like you," she said, winking. "You've got guts." Roxas breathed a deep sigh of relief, though Axel was still a bit green around the edges. "Now, she chirped, clapping her hands together once, let's all get dinner ready! You two will help me, won't you? I've got this  _incredible_  idea for a modification to the recipe for this soup..."

x X x X x

After a somewhat chaotic evening, Roxas was finally ready to make his way back to the apartment with Axel. The two of them had barely managed to save the soup from his mother's machinations, and the food had actually ended up halfway pleasant. Dinner had been somewhat awkward at first, with his father giving him a rousing pep-talk regarding his relationship with Axel, but his mother had quickly saved the day by proceeding to talk Roxas's ears off about the trip. Their clothes from the week already in bags in their cars, all that was left was to get in and drive back. Following Axel slowly to the driveway, he paused and glanced up one last time at the house.

It was still the same house it had always been, complete with sagging porch and faded paint, but it seemed different somehow. He could still see the slightly rusted water faucet on the side of the house and the awful paisley curtains through the window in the living room, but something had changed. It was... smaller, and in a way Roxas couldn't quite articulate.

"You really ready to be leaving?" Axel asked him, hand light on his shoulder.

"I... yeah," he said, and as soon as he did, he realized it was the truth. He turned, and Axel's serious face came into view. "I'm ready."

"It was your childhood home, wasn't it?" Axel gave an impression of nonchalance, but Roxas could hear the serious note underneath.

"It was where I grew up, yes," Roxas replied, smiling, "but it's just a house. Home is where you are." He saw Axel's bright, bright eyes, and couldn't keep the grin off his face. "Let's go back to the apartment, okay?"

 _Yeah, this is okay_ , Roxas thought.  _It's different from where I used to be, but maybe the world outside my front door isn't so bad, after all._

**Author's Note:**

> Dialogue is taken from the Japanese version of the game and/or the manga, not the English version of the game. For the curious, the house actually exists, and is pretty much lifted wholesale from my grandparents' house in Syracuse.


End file.
